From the Depths of the Abyss

Well hello there. It's been a hot minute since I have had the mental energy to sit down and put thoughts to fingers so I can type them out. September has had its own run of personal challenges, as can be expected when one is going through a healing journey. I've made a real point of trying to spend less time on social media because I've found that social media doesn't really do a lot for me. There is the aspect of connection that comes with making these posts, from trying to drive some semblance of conversation about hard topics but I've also come to realize that it isn't the best environment for me. Whenever I make a post I seem to hang the value of it on the reach that it has. Which really, I have just over 200 followers on Instagram, less than that on Facebook, so how far are these going to reach? The most important thing for me is still the power of telling my story, of putting myself out there to try and inspire someone else who is struggling to realize tha...

Hi there and welcome back. Last post was a bit more of a positive one, something that I'm trying to bring into my life a little more. Some days it works, some days it sure as shit doesn't. Lately its been very much more of the not. Being back the in the north hasn't been at all easy. With both kids heading to school now and my wife working full time that leaves me a lot of time alone by myself, trapped with my thoughts. The overwhelming reality of being alone scares the ever living shit out of me because I am not really at a point where I am okay to be alone that long. Sure, I have ways to pass the time but once those pervasive thoughts start to go to work no amount of grounding, breathing or distraction seems to work. The overwhelming reality of facing what is to come in my marriage, in my career, in my life is making this process even that much more daunting.  Reader warning: Suicide is a heavy part of this post and is likely distressing to read about. If you need help pl...