From the Depths of the Abyss

Well, I feel really old now, after looking up the commercial and finding that it was 13 fucking years ago...how is has it been 13 years? I mean at the time, I lift things up and put them down really described my fitness regime. I picked up weights, put them down and did it over and over. I was getting ready for the RCMP at that time, and it was in that window that I really started to program hop. I was happy with my strength, but I was slow and didn't have much cardio. So I stopped lifting as much and tried to trim down and get faster. It kinda worked, kinda didn't because the truth of the matter is I fucking hate running. I would rather do anything other than run. So needless to say, the getting ready for depot didn't go so well.  One of the first fitness sessions at depot was the Cooper's Run, simple enough, just run 1.5 miles as fast as you can. Sure went well, but not really...it was a time when things weren't quite so gentle and the sergeant of the fitness unit...

 Where do I begin? 2024 felt like it flew by but at the same time, felt like it dragged on and wouldn't let me go. I came into the year with momentum, with hope, with grand plans for how things felt like they should go.  I went back to work, for the first time in a year. 12 months of recovery, 12 months of learning how to live again, 12 months of ups/downs and struggles. I did hundreds of hours of therapy, spent hundreds if not thousands of hours journaling, crafting, listening to podcasts filled with the stories of others who fought the same PTS demons that I did and I felt encouraged through all of it that I could get through it. That if I put the work in, if I did the home work and dug into the hardest memories that I had repressed, that if I opened doors and broke down walls that I would be able to keep consistently climbing out of the hole. But 2024 didn't have the same plans for me. Going back to work wasn't some grand thing to celebrate. After 12 months of no one tha...